Fwd: Lots of stuff from the Platteland

From: Sam
Date: 16 Nov 2007 22:13
Subject: Lots of stuff from the Platteland
To: charmaine.gighalfwayhouse@gmail.com
Hi there Charmaine,

First - apologies that it's taken me sooo long to put finger to keyboard and write this mail but I've sort of been struggling with the words I need to write. Inspiration came tonight for the first time since we spoke on the phone.

I need you to know that I still feel that I am indebted to you for having so much faith and really introducing me to God. Words alone are not enough though. I think I'd like to make a monthly contribution towards the work you're doing - I can't give an exact monthly figure, because although we are blessed with everything we need I'm still learning to manage money (at 34 years of age!) and I often waste it unnecessarily. But I've prayed and I believe that between us the Lord and I will find a way to deposit something in your account every month. Plse forward your banking details so that I can put you on my online banking list. Enough about that.

Charmaine you really are in very close contact with the Lord - every time we speak, you'll say something and in the days thereafter I get the answers I am looking for from the Lord in my heart. It's miraculous and I am so humbled by the absolute power of the Lord I can only thank and praise Him for loving me so very much.

It happened again tonight. I have been carrying bitterness and anger in my heart towards my ex-husband Steve for kicking me in the face and breaking my jaw for a very long time. Try as I might over the past two years I haven't been able to leave him at the Cross and let God do His work there. Then, while I was brushing my teeth and thinking about my horse riding lesson tomorrow (YES - I have a new addiction: horses. Eve and I are learning to ride on a gorgeous farm near Gladdedrift, near Standerton. Anyway.) Now while I wasn't thinking about it at the time I have been reading the Bible and praying about it recently and a few days ago I found the honesty to admit to myself that no matter what I feel about him now, there was a time when I loved him very much. So I'm brushing my teeth and thinking horsy thoughts when suddenly I was hit by the clear knowledge that if Steve hadn't done that I may not have become ready to receive God into my life and I could still be on the street now. What happened was a nasty experience, yes, but more than that, what happened after - not being able to afford hospital etc was one of the things that knocked the pride out of me long enough for me to say that desperate little prayer:"I don't know how you're going to do it, Lord, but get us out of here" (I'll never forget that prayer, or that day for as long as I live).

I know, now, in my heart that I can't be bitter towards Steve because what happened had to happen and it was part of a much, much bigger plan. And that plan is so big and so beautiful, my human eyes have only seen a small part of the Reasoning in it, now, two years later. God is so Great, so Glorious and so Wise. And I love to see his work in my life - it's comforting, awe-inspiring and so very sweet to experience. And I can't do forgiveness by myself. I had to let go (admitting that I did love Steve once) and let God do the rest.

Also, when we last spoke I complained about feeling lonely and you said it was a lie and that I shouldn't believe it. You were right of course, and now I'm careful to look for the lies that pop into my head. I know them as lies because they are always debilitating - "I'm getting old and ugly" LIE. "I'm bored" LIE. "I'm not getting paid enough. Maybe I should go back to Jo'burg for a better-paying job." LIE. Also, I notice that the lies are ALWAYS related to worldly stuff. So, now, when I hear them I say to my heart and my head - THAT'S A LIE. SHUT UP. Then I say a quick prayer of thanks for the sunshine or the rain or my children or Alex or my dad or my work and guess what? It stops. The thought leaves me and I feel 100% fine again - no depression, no bad mood, no whatever. Thank you for communicating that to me.

I look forward to seeing you when I'm in Jozi again - I am serious about helping out with your book - and as I said earlier I would feel good if I could donate something on a monthly basis - maybe not a fortune but I'm sure that whatever it is you'll be able to put it to good use.

Once again, I am humbled by your faith and I am blessed to know you're a friend. Stay strong, Charmaine, you are a bit like the early Christian disciples: you're doing God's work in a hostile world and you touch many lives in many ways - just consider how many lives you have touched through Alex and I alone. You are needed and loved by many who are lost in the darkness and GiG is a shining light in the dark.

Lots of love and light

Sam & family
PS - Something keeps telling me you should read this email to someone (I don't know who but I think you will.)

Again, all the best and BIG hugs to Faith,

Sam

PPS The magazine I edit, sensored, is online at sensored - my life makes me think of the U2 song Window in the Skies ("Oh can't you see what Love has done?" And, of course, it's not human love he's talking about. It's divine love. I'm attaching the lyrics!)